I’ve just deleted The Handmaid’s Tale off my planner and here’s why…

Not so long ago I wrote how I was excited for certain programs to come on TV. It started with my excitement for Riviera but I’ve got to episode 8 and I couldn’t watch beyond the ridiculous twists and turns. So it’s currently sitting pretty mid-way in episode 8 whilst I debate if I want to continue watching it.

The other program I debated pressing play is The Handmaid’s Tale. I’ve not watched one episode of the new series. Whilst I waited with baited breathe for Elizabeth Moss to swing back into action and kick some dystopian arse, I’ve just not been able to get myself ready or in the mood to watch it.

If you’ve not watched it, part of me thinks, praise be.

If you watched the second season last year, you would have shared my anger at the seasons finale. I was annoyed that June, played by the amazing Elisabeth Moss, decided not to flee Gilead’s oppressive hellhole when offered with one heck of a way to escape, instead, walking back into the hellmouth, with sheer determination. I’m pretty sure I was screaming at the tv over that moment.

The series, based on real-life events and Margaret Atwood’s 1985 novel of the same name, has been a topic of conversation with so many. Some watch it with the same amount of nerves of what’s to come and others refuse to. My sister just won’t watch it. The thought of it ever becoming a reality freaks her out. Fair dos.

I wrote before, what happens now? And now I’m not sure if I want to know what happens. She escaped the last time, again, and it wasn’t a pleasant scene for anyone so, it’s not exactly going to go down well with anyone this time, is it?

It’s a hard watch. It’s brutal, bloody, scary, horrific and emotionally grim. The public executions, Handmaid’s hanging from pillars, the rapes, the torture – all of it is depressing and just mind-blowing for so many reasons beyond that. It’s a brutal nightmare that just doesn’t seem to end.

Whilst I did want to watch it a few months ago, because I really wanted Elizabeth Moss’ character go back in and fuck up everything and bring down the commanders, wiping the creepy smile off Joseph Fiennes smug face, I just can’t watch it. So I deleted it off my planner.

I’ll happily read spoilers, or read what people have to say about it but I don’t want the imprint of hell on my mind.

Granted, there’s so much happening in the world today that’s worse than what’s happening in the program and yes, it’s shockingly relevant, but I’m sorry, call me weak, but I can’t watch it.